Flushing it all away
I am really tempted to simply delete-and-never-look-back with my livejournal. Having read the last month of it's existence has really put a downward spin on my day which makes me think, 'Uhm, so why the hell do I have this still?' Logic would say the same and I'm sure the emotional part of me doesn't want to have anything to do with it either.
In spite of what's happened, I can't ignore the fact that seeing the most depressing entries makes me appreciate where I am at this time. I've come very far considering how low I felt when the drama was at the height. I'm feeling very detached from the emotions I harbored at the time and I like it that way.
Dating again or just wanting to get laid?
This is subject to debate because I can't seem to make up my mind which one I want more. I crave the intimacy of being with another person while my hormones are nagging me constantly to get the fuck out of my computer chair and get some. In this case, taking action is the only thing I can do to go get me some action.
Mostly, I think getting my head into other females will help me get over her easier. There, I said it...'I'm not over her'. I hate admitting that I'm a slave to my emotions, but I can't deny something that's so incredibly obvious to my close friends. They're not tactful about bringing it up, and I'm really not being very nice about it either. 'Think about something else Toby', is usually what they will say when I get that far-away look in my eye. That's considerably nicer than what I say (to myself) when she comes to mind, believe me.
What to do when you're not over her
You shove your fucking head into the sand and try to immerse yourself in shit that has nothing to do with her. While I think this is a good start, I believe that I can't totally ignore her existence because she works in the same fucking building. In addition to this, she's dating a friend of mine, which has definitely put some strain our association. I'm only now starting to talk to him in a civil tone. It's not right for me to ignore him, but he definitely knows that any time we're going to spend outside of work will be without her.
Fortunately, I'm making progress with escaping her gravitational field. As each day goes by, I gradually forget something about her. Atleast I'm not smelling her perfume anymore, what a maddening time it was.
Okay, enough sulking for me. I'm gonna go do something productive, like research my upcoming vacation.
Where should I go? Mexico? Dallas? San Diego? I guess it all depends on how much $$ I can save from now till whenever it happens.
I am really tempted to simply delete-and-never-look-back with my livejournal. Having read the last month of it's existence has really put a downward spin on my day which makes me think, 'Uhm, so why the hell do I have this still?' Logic would say the same and I'm sure the emotional part of me doesn't want to have anything to do with it either.
In spite of what's happened, I can't ignore the fact that seeing the most depressing entries makes me appreciate where I am at this time. I've come very far considering how low I felt when the drama was at the height. I'm feeling very detached from the emotions I harbored at the time and I like it that way.
Dating again or just wanting to get laid?
This is subject to debate because I can't seem to make up my mind which one I want more. I crave the intimacy of being with another person while my hormones are nagging me constantly to get the fuck out of my computer chair and get some. In this case, taking action is the only thing I can do to go get me some action.
Mostly, I think getting my head into other females will help me get over her easier. There, I said it...'I'm not over her'. I hate admitting that I'm a slave to my emotions, but I can't deny something that's so incredibly obvious to my close friends. They're not tactful about bringing it up, and I'm really not being very nice about it either. 'Think about something else Toby', is usually what they will say when I get that far-away look in my eye. That's considerably nicer than what I say (to myself) when she comes to mind, believe me.
What to do when you're not over her
You shove your fucking head into the sand and try to immerse yourself in shit that has nothing to do with her. While I think this is a good start, I believe that I can't totally ignore her existence because she works in the same fucking building. In addition to this, she's dating a friend of mine, which has definitely put some strain our association. I'm only now starting to talk to him in a civil tone. It's not right for me to ignore him, but he definitely knows that any time we're going to spend outside of work will be without her.
Fortunately, I'm making progress with escaping her gravitational field. As each day goes by, I gradually forget something about her. Atleast I'm not smelling her perfume anymore, what a maddening time it was.
Okay, enough sulking for me. I'm gonna go do something productive, like research my upcoming vacation.
Where should I go? Mexico? Dallas? San Diego? I guess it all depends on how much $$ I can save from now till whenever it happens.
posted by Tobiwan | 2:35 PM
3 Comments:
SAN DIEGO FUCKER!!!
Uhm.. I guess San Diego.. don't make Sam mad, dude.. bad idea! :)
*smirk*
I would be an idiot to go anywhere else but San Diego. Considering it's been several years since I saw Sam in the flesh, I really think it's best that I visit her for atleast 10 minutes.
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