Phone Sex

I've had entirely too much phone sex this weekend. It was dirty, delicious, and satisfying~something I haven't had in quite a long time. You don't even want to know how long it's been since I had sex last and I'm not going to remind you. Today, I don't feel like humping the leg of any remotely attractive women, so I suppose this is a good improvement.

'You need to get laid', was what I heard myself saying in echo to the woman on the other end of the phone. She doesn't bullshit me, I like her for that...she also doesn't try to comfort me which is really what I don't need at this stage in my life. I'm hooked to this woman's sexy phone voice too...it just makes me wanna touch myself~*laughs*

Like every one of my other virtual sexual encounters, she's on the other side of the Nation, which makes it quite difficult to completely let loose any of this sexual frustration. It makes me ever more aware that I need to clean up my act if I want to find anyone local. I suppose this is the curse of the internet rearing it's ugly head again~here you meet great people, but they're never close enough to enjoy properly.

The Weekend with the kids

I had a nice quiet weekend with the kidlings. The more I see them lately, the more I'm starting to realize how much I'm missing when I'm not with them all the time. The ache of missing them was only partially satiated because I had to return them last night.

The trip to and from their mother's house is nice in that we can listen to music together. I discovered that my son likes techno and good ol fashioned rock and roll. It's really difficult to get them to listen to classical music, but I guess I'll take what I can get.

The pool kept them pretty well occupied which also seconds as a good means of exercise. I even jumped in despite there being some exceptionally cool weather in the area. It's really exciting to see them adapting to that environment. The little girl is slowly becoming the cat fish she's always wanted to be. Pices...go figure. The boy is an excellent swimmer as well...he was quite pleasant to have this weekend too.

I'm am 'Captain Loogie'

My daughter seems to think I am a loogie God. While we were swimming this weekend, I had to expel the phloem caught in my throat and I didn't realize she would react the way she did. Immediately after I expectorated on the fence (15 feet away), she erupted in laughter and shrieked 'Awesome Daddy!'. It warms my heart that she would adore me for being able to spit really far...gawd I love that kid! She then quoted a line from Ace Ventura 2, which fucking blew me away, 'It is the mucus that binds us!'. No wonder she's so twisted, who lets her watch that junk anyway? I wonder how they got their hands on my copy?


'The Cook'

I cooked baked chicken for them on Saturday which turned out really good despite the fact that little girl preferred to eat only her beans. Sadly, she's all about the fact that Beans make her fart than any nutritional value. Methinks I need to read 'the BFG', but I'm afraid I might be more *chuckle*~fueling her flatulent fascination. We're gonna have to keep an eye on the little girl...she's fucking trouble.

I'm a Slacker...here's why:

I haven't really been updating the blog as much lately due to some necessary changes in my lifestyle. Fortunately, I have several drafts saved up, so once I get some free time, I'll update you on what's been going on with me. I wish I could say it's been more interesting, but hey, now you know why I haven't been writing much.

My next few posts (beyond today's date) will likely be me complaining about not getting stoned for a long time...be forewarned. Hope y'all had a nice weekend too.