Today was SHIT

I wish I could say that I was being sarcastic, that I was having a splendid day of daydreaming of deliciously wet pussy, but that's not the case. I have slipped in a big way here at work. My concept of what's productive has obviously not been what my superiors have in mind and I got myself a written warning of my negligence...nothing is more demeaning than when it's in writing and when you have to sign it with your own name acknowledging you fucked up. Humble pie is on my plate right now and I can't describe the incredible disappointment that I let things get this out-of-hand at my workplace.

Unfortunately, this means that I have to spend more of my free, unpaid time, writing about my life, and sex, and whatever else I think about on a daily basis, whatever that may be. Sex too.

My sex kitten,

LH, sends me a message this morning saying, 'Where are we going for my Spring Break?' And I am stunned to see the word 'We' in this statement. I'll stop to say how much adore this woman. She has been my true friend in times when I have given up on love/romance and this further reinforces my absolute affection for her. Although we have never met in person, we have talked for years about everything from 'how she likes it' to my most intimate secrets. I appreciate for her honesty and the fact that no matter how bad my day may be, she always shows me the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks sweetie, I don't know where I would be without you...I really mean this. Even when she has another man in her life, I still daydream about being with her, holding her, comforting her when she's down. I wish I could be closer to her, but it's wrong to dwell on things that I can't have immediately. The point is that I still care for her even though we have never shared the same space. I have hope that I'll be in her presence and let the rest of my senses indulge in her purity. Thanks for that LH, you may never know how much I appreciate you for your honesty. Hopefully you will.

Phone calls

I spent a bit of time talking to another person I admire greatly. She's the epitome of what I find sweetest in life~knowledge in her own mortality. We talked for a while until we sadly had to end the phone call. I want to talk to her every day but can't because I don't want to seem that needy. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. I hate to sound so needy, but you've been such a great influence on me to take note of what I have (in comparison to what I don't have). More about that later when I get my head screwed on tighter.

A renewed sense of pride

Despite the written warning, I am energized with spiteful motivation. I will succeed because I can't fail in something so easy to accomplish. You will see a new person in your workspace...he'll be more intense, and a bit less likely to make vague sexual references to anything you say (that takes practice~let me tell you!). I can't wait to hear your review of my behavior/performance stating how amazing it was to see how poor I was in the beginning and how I am at the time. Maybe I'll even believe you when you say that I put the 'ass' in 'asset'.

I hate to admit that I need motivation to succeed in my job, but the bottom line is that it allows me to have the life I live and possibly a future I can grow into. Sorry English Professors for ending that last statement in a preposition...suck me sideways!