Anti-logic Explained

I'm not sure if I have ever explained my roommate's uncanny ability to win arguments, but his secret will now be revealed. Roommie, if you're reading this right now...so sorry logic is not one of your strong points, and yet, you win every argument...tough shit...the world deserves to know.

Him: We need to start getting to work on time. Can you do me a favor and let me get into the bathroom before you take your shower? I will only take a few minutes (whereas you always take long showers).

Nice of him to blame me for our tardiness considering I've had to wake him on countless mornings.

Me: Why would it matter if I let you into the bathroom first? I still have to wake you up every morning anyway.

Him: Because you take too long.

Me: Huh?

Him: What part of 'you take too long' didn't you understand?

Me: So, if you wake up when I do, why don't you just get in the bathroom before I do.

Him: Because you get up too early.

Me: ......

Me: Okay, let me get this straight...you want me to wake you up before I get into the shower even though you just admitted to me that I get up too early for your liking.

Him: Yes.

Me: (flinching to his response)....

I have no fucking idea what to say to him. His anti-logic wins again...damn him!!

I eventually gave in and decided to only partly honor his request. Now, I get up even earlier so 'I don't make us both late (again)' and I make it a fucking point to audibly (understatement) knock on his door when I am up. Once I hear him mutter anything relating to me using the bathroom, I proceed at my usual showering speed (which is long, I suppose, but I prefer morning wanks over pre-bed wanks).

The conversation still rings quite clearly in my mind...mainly because of his blatant lack of solid reason. If the convo had gone my way, it would've done this way;

Him: Hey Tob, my boss is hounding the shit out of me to get to work on time. Do you think we could start leaving for work at an earlier hour?

Me: I don't think that would be a problem dude. I'll just set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier and knock on your door when I'm out of the shower unless you'd prefer to use it before me.

Him: No thanks, but you wake up too early for my liking.

See how this conversation went much simpler? He still used anti-logic on me, but it was well after we resolved his concerns. I personally think all issues would be much simpler solved if I was in charge.

My friends agree that said roommate uses Anti-logic against them, and they also confirm that he's used similar tactics when settling arguments. When I find other examples, I'll be sure to share them; they're quite amusing as long as you're not on the receiving end of it.