The 'good' kind of sore
This weekend was probably the most productive I've had in a while. Maybe it's when the kids are around that I feel a bit more domesticated? *shrugs* Seriously though, I managed to get all my laundry done, cook dinner (Mmm...charred flesh of fowl!), and condense some space in the garage. The laundry part, I'm glad I got done, now my room's full of boxes of books and keepsakes. Said books and keepsakes have been collecting dust (and spiders) since I moved here in March, so I figured it was time to bring them in. Besides, I need something else to occupy me while being on Square-headed girlfriend hiatus. After all the moving, I'm feeling the pain of manual labor, which is actually pretty satisfying given all I've accomplished.
Toby breaks out the big bed
I am now remembering why I loved my old bed. Not only does it fit 3 people comfortably, but it takes up nearly my whole room. Why's this a good thing? Erm...at least I'm sleeping more soundly? I'll let you know when I figure out the good things. The bed I was sleeping in before was only a single, which doesn't exactly make me feel like inviting the ladies to my house for a sleep-over. That being said, I'm at least more confident about bringing the opposite sex to my house (some is better than none, right?) for extra-curricular activities.
Ravishing Ex Repellant
Normally, If anyone were to ask me if I would still have sex with my ex-wife, I would've answered immediately~'Want-to-tap-that-ass'. Just recently, my ex visited a hair stylist, or a butcher, I'm still deciding. The lovely tangley hair she had before has been chopped, and there's this strange thing nesting on her head where it once lay. When I saw it, all naughty images of her and I getting it on were quickly diffused. It's as if they sprayed her hair with anti-viagra and set her loose on the world. Since she's ensured all the blood will not flow to my other head, I'll say that it's on equal ground as the flowery undies her grandmother was sporting when I wandered into my living room that one horribly scarring day. Is your ex giving you trouble by letting you know he'd still fuck you in a heartbeat? Just visit my ex's hairstylist...they'll ensure even the most desperate men won't let you go down on them. Seriously, I haven't thought about having sex with her since I saw her on Friday night. Poor thing even said she was 'going out'...I'm glad I held in the comment about advertising safe sex through abstinence. *looks shameful momentarily* Oh Karma...you know I'm just having my fun! I really feel quite liberated by this...there's no need to keep record of this, can't you just make this one exception?
*ahem*
In other news...
I still love taking my kids in public with me. They're so well-behaved and they manage to entertain me without even trying. Best of all, they make me look so damn good in front of the ladies. I get so much attention while they're around, or maybe it's just a placebo thing? And what the hell is it about Waitresses that I like? I don't think it's the uniform and I don't think it's because they're always bringing me food and beer. Even the remotely attractive ones seem to make it into my dirty daydreams. I must expand on that later...either that, or find myself a cheaper restaurant to stalk the girlies.
I'm sure I'm missing some things that happened this weekend, but oh well...unfortunately, I have to take the kids home now. Hope you all had an equally productive/enjoyable weekend.
This weekend was probably the most productive I've had in a while. Maybe it's when the kids are around that I feel a bit more domesticated? *shrugs* Seriously though, I managed to get all my laundry done, cook dinner (Mmm...charred flesh of fowl!), and condense some space in the garage. The laundry part, I'm glad I got done, now my room's full of boxes of books and keepsakes. Said books and keepsakes have been collecting dust (and spiders) since I moved here in March, so I figured it was time to bring them in. Besides, I need something else to occupy me while being on Square-headed girlfriend hiatus. After all the moving, I'm feeling the pain of manual labor, which is actually pretty satisfying given all I've accomplished.
Toby breaks out the big bed
I am now remembering why I loved my old bed. Not only does it fit 3 people comfortably, but it takes up nearly my whole room. Why's this a good thing? Erm...at least I'm sleeping more soundly? I'll let you know when I figure out the good things. The bed I was sleeping in before was only a single, which doesn't exactly make me feel like inviting the ladies to my house for a sleep-over. That being said, I'm at least more confident about bringing the opposite sex to my house (some is better than none, right?) for extra-curricular activities.
Ravishing Ex Repellant
Normally, If anyone were to ask me if I would still have sex with my ex-wife, I would've answered immediately~'Want-to-tap-that-ass'. Just recently, my ex visited a hair stylist, or a butcher, I'm still deciding. The lovely tangley hair she had before has been chopped, and there's this strange thing nesting on her head where it once lay. When I saw it, all naughty images of her and I getting it on were quickly diffused. It's as if they sprayed her hair with anti-viagra and set her loose on the world. Since she's ensured all the blood will not flow to my other head, I'll say that it's on equal ground as the flowery undies her grandmother was sporting when I wandered into my living room that one horribly scarring day. Is your ex giving you trouble by letting you know he'd still fuck you in a heartbeat? Just visit my ex's hairstylist...they'll ensure even the most desperate men won't let you go down on them. Seriously, I haven't thought about having sex with her since I saw her on Friday night. Poor thing even said she was 'going out'...I'm glad I held in the comment about advertising safe sex through abstinence. *looks shameful momentarily* Oh Karma...you know I'm just having my fun! I really feel quite liberated by this...there's no need to keep record of this, can't you just make this one exception?
*ahem*
In other news...
I still love taking my kids in public with me. They're so well-behaved and they manage to entertain me without even trying. Best of all, they make me look so damn good in front of the ladies. I get so much attention while they're around, or maybe it's just a placebo thing? And what the hell is it about Waitresses that I like? I don't think it's the uniform and I don't think it's because they're always bringing me food and beer. Even the remotely attractive ones seem to make it into my dirty daydreams. I must expand on that later...either that, or find myself a cheaper restaurant to stalk the girlies.
I'm sure I'm missing some things that happened this weekend, but oh well...unfortunately, I have to take the kids home now. Hope you all had an equally productive/enjoyable weekend.
posted by Tobiwan | 5:26 PM
9 Comments:
Know what you mean Toby about kids in Pubs. Took mine to my local after swimming yesterday for tea. Had 2 blokes entertain them the entire time with tricks and sending their McDonalds toys into space on fireworks (guy forks night approaching!). They love it. Sometimes they get money out of them! (And I'll get a couple of vodka's bought for me as well!)
I laughed SOOO hard you talking about your Ex's hair! That is funny, but then again, so cruel! LOL I am glad you had a productive weekend and now have a "big boy" bed for sleepovers.
;-)
What? No making the kids read this weekend? lol
Isn't the beauty of having her as and "ex" entitle you to tell her when her hair looks like something you crapped out?
I think it does. What else are exes for if not liberating you to being completely and utterly honest?
Sam - Thanks for the comment, nice to have another blog acquaintence with similar interests. I can't help myself when it comes to flirting with the MILFs...I'm sure you're already noticing that other men like the milfs ;-).
Kris- hopefully karma will let that comment slide without too much retribution. *adjusts halo*
Punky - 'Liberating' is a freaking understatement! I've never been so happy to tell her it looks like something died (or crapped) on her head.
lol @ adjusts halo....
Who said you HAD a halo to begin with? I have read too much...I see horns under that make shift halo you claim to have.
I too loved the ex's hair post. If only all exs could be dealt with that way :-)
Of course I have a halo, I bring it out when I need extra innocence.
Um, I don't get it. Whats wrong with short hair? I don't understand these women who pander to men by keeping their hair long for the sake of long. (not to mention men, why are they so into long hair?) Its like samson complex; woe is me, I'm not pretty if i dont have long hair. I'm gonna stick up for short haired woman; some of us dont have an option to keep our hair short, some of us suit it that way better. I love my hair when its short; its easy to deal with, i can change the style every few months, and it looks hot!
Do you like short hair on any other women than ur wife? Do the waitresses all have long hair? I'm needing a visual to work out just how horrid and viagra-wasting her hair was, can u tell?
Must have been a REALLY bad haircut.
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