Year 37
Yesterday, my parents celebrated their 37th year of Marriage. It dawned on me the other day just how long they've been together. Y'see, they were High School Sweethearts and have known eachother since they were 14 years old. I think they were even dating back then which is really quite an achievement, especially by today's standards. For a long time, they were my example of a healthy marriage, but I think that was just my ignorance talking.
It seems the older I get, the more flaws I see in their Marriage. I suppose it was only a matter of time before my view of their relationship was tarnished by my own experiences. Not to say that my marriage wasn't a total loss. I still have her as a friend and sometimes our sexual history is relived in a toe-curling wank session. From my Parent's relationship, I have at least a good idea of what I don't want in a marriage. Sadly, I didn't learn from one of the most important principals until now.
While I was married, I didn't really encourage my wife to seek work or further her education. This is one of the regrets I have about the relationship, but hey, lesson learned now. My ex is one of those people that is not happy with herself if she's not being exposed to social situations. Work and College are perfect examples of this. While she was working, she was pleasant, sexually active, and energetic. When she was unemployed and primarily taking care of my kids, she slept almost constantly, became sick very easily, and getting her interested in sex took an act of god (or getting her drunk).
Nowadays, she's busy getting a college degree while also having primary care of my children. My Child Support payments are pretty high, but considering she has never once complained to me that 'it wasn't enough', I think we have a very unique situation. In addition to this, I still pay for their Health Insurance, yes...even hers. Why do I do this? The logic goes like this; She takes care of my kids when I'm not there and she has no way of paying for Health care while going to school. Some could call it leverage, but I would never use something like that to my advantage. She has never given me reason to feel that she will fuck me over or try to take my children away from me, so why provoke things? Exactly...totally not worth it when everyone's happy.
Is bad sex better than no sex at all?
A close friend of mine told me about her most recent sexual experience. When you have virtually no sex life, it's always interesting to hear about others' sexual practices. In her case, she walked away from the situation very disappointed and likely frustrated as hell. If I were closer, I would offer to make it up to her because I know enough about her to know how she likes it.
So, back to the question...is bad sex better than no sex?
I'm a guy, so bad sex is pretty difficult to have without specific anomalies. Sure, we cum, but is the orgasm really toe-curling? The last sex I had was with a woman that I didn't have much sexual attraction to, and although I enjoyed the act of intercourse, my orgasm was not even worthy of a cigarette afterwards. The other woman before my last (we'll just call her 'Disneyland') was a very good lover. She was vocal, loved the dirty talk, and even told me how naughty she felt when I pulled on her hair. I was fortunate to have had a taste of her and it's more reinforced the kinds of things I look for in a lover. Anyway, what's your opinion?
5 Comments:
When ever I've had bad sex with anyone, I've demanded they come back and do it properly. Actually, that's only with regular sexual partners.
One nighters, 'Fuck off mate, your dick is too thin.'
Umm, I'd rather no sex than bad sex.
I've had enough bad sex to know what it's like, and learned enough to know I can live without it.
I've had a lot of bad sex. And a lot of no sex. Bad sex is worse. Hell, I've had better "alone time" than some of my bad sex. ;)
Wow, a pretty unanimous response to the sex poll Tobi! Have to agree with the other ladies. No sex is way preferable to bad sex. As you say though, for men, that might be a different answer :-) (Can men have bad sex?!?!?!!?)
i um try to make the most of bad sex, ie, still come somehow. im definately the dirty talking, begging for my hair to be pulled type tho.
sometimes the sex is bad but the rest of the connectionb is good, or the hugs/kissing part was good. ya know?
but, YOGA is better than bad sex.
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