You should all know
I'm jealous of those of you that can blog every day, sometimes twice a day. I can't bring myself to do it. If I had more time to do it at work, I'm sure I would be able to come up with something reasonably entertaining to share.
By the time I get home from a day of fickle phone queues and a constant change in my list of priorities, the last thing I want to do is nail my scrotum to a piece of plywood, closely followed by touching my computer.
How many times will you hear me say I hate my job this week? It all depends on how close you sit to my desk and if I choose to say it loud enough for management to hear.
Today, I got shot down when pushing for higher priority with my primary role: Abuse. What do I do here at the Abuse desk? If it were about abusing my authority and making people cry, I think I could do it and not lose a wink of sleep, but that's not the case. Here at the abuse desk, I'm responsible for enforcing our Acceptable Use Policy, which is a legal agreement that our customers must adhere to if they wish to maintain internet with us. The 'AUP' is pretty simple; don't send spam (this includes virus infected PCs and Servers), don't distribute copyrighted material, and don't do any illegal shit on our network. The specifics, I wont get into because my blog is boring enough as it is. Just know that the lines of our agreement are very easy to follow as long as you have half a brain.
Anyway, I found out recently that my boss will be leaving for another job which has many of us, including my Lead tech, brushing up their resume. I feel now that this company is doomed than I ever did before. Most of us believe that the management will dissolve his position and move my team under a singular Supervisor. Said prospective Supervisor is not very well liked by anyone and I doubt any of us really want to work under him.
Enough about that, there are other subjects I wanted to get off my chest today.
Groundhog's day has always been a memorable day for me because I used to call a certain woman on this day every year. Her birthday is today, she is 33 and I haven't spoken to her in about 4 years now. This was a woman I considered to be the 'one that got away' after she moved to another state. Sadly, I had more than one opportunity to tell her how I felt about her, but never trusted my instincts. I found out later she was equally fond of me and would've stayed with me had she known. This is where I usually let out a very audible sigh and pine for her like I did all those years ago. Obviously, there is still part of her in my heart, which is why I always think about her on this day. I think about the opportunity I had to kiss her and how I totally fucked that up by assuming that our slow roast was just an act of friendship. As you can probably guess, I dwelled on that for a long time, even after I found out she got married and had children with him.
I miss you Gayle...I'm sorry we never got to hold hands while we made fun of people at the Coffee shop. If I had to do it over again, I would've kissed you when you dropped me off at home after we had too much to drink. And when your boyfriend was away, I gave you flowers and hoped you would leave him for me because he didn't love you as much as I did.
I wonder what you're doing right now on your birthday and hope that you'll think of me as I do about you on this day. Even if you don't, just know that I think you're a very special woman, one that I missed my chance to cherish.
In retrospect, I get down on myself for pining so much for women I can't have. It's the proverbial story of my life. I love too easily, and get broken hearted just as quickly. While I pretend that this doesn't effect me at all, it's made me absolutely paranoid about meeting anyone new. It doesn't help that I think about all the missed opportunities I've had in the past and how things could've gone differently if only I had listened to my instincts. Back to those again...instincts. Why do I doubt them so much when they have been more successful than my emotionally fueled logic?
That's all for now, I'm gonna go spend some time with Mary jane.
I'm jealous of those of you that can blog every day, sometimes twice a day. I can't bring myself to do it. If I had more time to do it at work, I'm sure I would be able to come up with something reasonably entertaining to share.
By the time I get home from a day of fickle phone queues and a constant change in my list of priorities, the last thing I want to do is nail my scrotum to a piece of plywood, closely followed by touching my computer.
How many times will you hear me say I hate my job this week? It all depends on how close you sit to my desk and if I choose to say it loud enough for management to hear.
Today, I got shot down when pushing for higher priority with my primary role: Abuse. What do I do here at the Abuse desk? If it were about abusing my authority and making people cry, I think I could do it and not lose a wink of sleep, but that's not the case. Here at the abuse desk, I'm responsible for enforcing our Acceptable Use Policy, which is a legal agreement that our customers must adhere to if they wish to maintain internet with us. The 'AUP' is pretty simple; don't send spam (this includes virus infected PCs and Servers), don't distribute copyrighted material, and don't do any illegal shit on our network. The specifics, I wont get into because my blog is boring enough as it is. Just know that the lines of our agreement are very easy to follow as long as you have half a brain.
Anyway, I found out recently that my boss will be leaving for another job which has many of us, including my Lead tech, brushing up their resume. I feel now that this company is doomed than I ever did before. Most of us believe that the management will dissolve his position and move my team under a singular Supervisor. Said prospective Supervisor is not very well liked by anyone and I doubt any of us really want to work under him.
Enough about that, there are other subjects I wanted to get off my chest today.
Groundhog's day has always been a memorable day for me because I used to call a certain woman on this day every year. Her birthday is today, she is 33 and I haven't spoken to her in about 4 years now. This was a woman I considered to be the 'one that got away' after she moved to another state. Sadly, I had more than one opportunity to tell her how I felt about her, but never trusted my instincts. I found out later she was equally fond of me and would've stayed with me had she known. This is where I usually let out a very audible sigh and pine for her like I did all those years ago. Obviously, there is still part of her in my heart, which is why I always think about her on this day. I think about the opportunity I had to kiss her and how I totally fucked that up by assuming that our slow roast was just an act of friendship. As you can probably guess, I dwelled on that for a long time, even after I found out she got married and had children with him.
I miss you Gayle...I'm sorry we never got to hold hands while we made fun of people at the Coffee shop. If I had to do it over again, I would've kissed you when you dropped me off at home after we had too much to drink. And when your boyfriend was away, I gave you flowers and hoped you would leave him for me because he didn't love you as much as I did.
I wonder what you're doing right now on your birthday and hope that you'll think of me as I do about you on this day. Even if you don't, just know that I think you're a very special woman, one that I missed my chance to cherish.
In retrospect, I get down on myself for pining so much for women I can't have. It's the proverbial story of my life. I love too easily, and get broken hearted just as quickly. While I pretend that this doesn't effect me at all, it's made me absolutely paranoid about meeting anyone new. It doesn't help that I think about all the missed opportunities I've had in the past and how things could've gone differently if only I had listened to my instincts. Back to those again...instincts. Why do I doubt them so much when they have been more successful than my emotionally fueled logic?
That's all for now, I'm gonna go spend some time with Mary jane.
posted by Tobiwan | 9:46 AM
3 Comments:
Oh the missed opportunities! I've had a few of them in my time Tobi, believe me. Next time, follow those instincts.
now you know it, use it.
ooo, and damn u, uve got me wondering what gayle is up to now!
yeah, that'll teach ya to listen to the voices in your head Tobi :)
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