'We need to get Toby a female'

Upon hearing this from my buddy, I could feel my face getting hot and I'm very sure it wasn't the fucked up air system here at work. For some reason, the statement touched a nerve I have been hiding away in the back of my mind for quite some time. How do you tell your friend you've been intentionally avoiding the opposite sex for reasons you can't verbally justify?

An audible 'Hm' was all that I was able to muster in response. Self-censorship for-the-win!

I have all the explanation, but they sound like excuses, so maybe they are? *shrugs* No fucking clue, but I do happen to feel, for lack of a better term, broken. My face is heating up again now as I write this~I can't even think about it with some feelings of remorse and being overwelmed with emotion.

Basketcase, table for one!

While I realize that he's being a good friend by showing his concern, I can't help but feel like burying this deeper into my consciousness. I'm skilled at being in denial like that. If I could destroy this feeling, I would do it to avoid the occasional haunting.

There's an overwelming sense of futility when I start thinking about how I can pull myself out of this funk.

Alright, I'm done with this subject for now.