You're not allowed...
- to say 'No' to me anymore, even if you think I'm not the right person for the job.
- to tell me I'm an idiot for quitting my last job. I've already taken care of that pretty well thank-you-very-fucking-much.
- to kiss or make out in front of me. Fuck you.
- to make racist remarks in front of my kids.
- to drive your fucking expensive car in front of me...ever.
- to spit while you speak.
- to invite me to your barbque then ask me to cook for you, but that's very flattering, thank you.
- to expect me to know what you're thinking.
- to keep saying you'll call me back when you don't actually follow through with it (that's not directed at you, Sam <3).
- to ignore my messages, especially when they request some form of response.
- to lead me on then tell me 'Let's just be friends'.
- to say 'Let's just be friends'...ever.
- to tell me you love giving oral sex, then refuse to do so when the time comes.
- to misuse the word 'irony' or 'ironic'.
- to use they're, their, and there incorrectly or I will stab you.
- to smile at me then ignore me when I try to speak with you.
- to criticize me for choosing not to vote.
- to nag me as long as you're not my wife.
- to tell me I should come with you to church...even if you're cute.
- to abduct me and perform experiments on me unless you promise to take me with you.
- to come into my house if you're going to sell me an issue of the Watchtower, but your friend can.
- to send me chain letters unless they contain female nudity.
- to give me the impression you want to hire me, then tell me you picked someone else. Fuck you too.
- to shower me with attention then blow me off.
- to have a boyfriend if I find you interesting upon our first meeting.
- to shave your eyebrows and then pencil them in afterwards.
- to wear Pinstripe pants unless you're okay with me staring at your lower torso.
- to drive with one foot on your brakes and the other on the accellerator.
- to text and drive simultaneously.
- to cook such delicious food and not offer me any.
- to come to the Bay Area without letting me know.
So yeah, stop it, or this kitten gets it!
- to say 'No' to me anymore, even if you think I'm not the right person for the job.
- to tell me I'm an idiot for quitting my last job. I've already taken care of that pretty well thank-you-very-fucking-much.
- to kiss or make out in front of me. Fuck you.
- to make racist remarks in front of my kids.
- to drive your fucking expensive car in front of me...ever.
- to spit while you speak.
- to invite me to your barbque then ask me to cook for you, but that's very flattering, thank you.
- to expect me to know what you're thinking.
- to keep saying you'll call me back when you don't actually follow through with it (that's not directed at you, Sam <3).
- to ignore my messages, especially when they request some form of response.
- to lead me on then tell me 'Let's just be friends'.
- to say 'Let's just be friends'...ever.
- to tell me you love giving oral sex, then refuse to do so when the time comes.
- to misuse the word 'irony' or 'ironic'.
- to use they're, their, and there incorrectly or I will stab you.
- to smile at me then ignore me when I try to speak with you.
- to criticize me for choosing not to vote.
- to nag me as long as you're not my wife.
- to tell me I should come with you to church...even if you're cute.
- to abduct me and perform experiments on me unless you promise to take me with you.
- to come into my house if you're going to sell me an issue of the Watchtower, but your friend can.
- to send me chain letters unless they contain female nudity.
- to give me the impression you want to hire me, then tell me you picked someone else. Fuck you too.
- to shower me with attention then blow me off.
- to have a boyfriend if I find you interesting upon our first meeting.
- to shave your eyebrows and then pencil them in afterwards.
- to wear Pinstripe pants unless you're okay with me staring at your lower torso.
- to drive with one foot on your brakes and the other on the accellerator.
- to text and drive simultaneously.
- to cook such delicious food and not offer me any.
- to come to the Bay Area without letting me know.
So yeah, stop it, or this kitten gets it!
posted by Tobiwan | 3:09 PM
3 Comments:
Feeling a little bitter hon?
Please let the kitten survive!
Quite bitter! Most of that stuff has been stored for a while, so it was best purged before it sours my attitude any more than it already is.
Penciled in eyebrows... *shudders*
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