Keeping it publicly private
I recently did a search for 'Tobiwan' on Google and was surprised how difficult it was to find this blog. It feels good knowing that finding my blog requires knowing more about me than just my name. Eventually, I did stumble upon it, but it was several pages into my search. Does anyone even stick around for that long? Not me and I consider myself a pretty patient person.
After much consideration, I don't think I'll share this information with Pebbles. It wouldn't matter if I did give her the link at this point, especially with how I'm feeling about continuing this attempt-at-having-a-relationship. If she did happen to read any of this, I think some of my comments would hurt her feelings. Yes, here I go worrying about others, but I can't help but feel empathetic towards her. Rejection, as many of you know, never sits well in my conscience.
Having to tell her will be painful and I'm not sure she'll even want to be friends with me afterwards. That will be the most I could hope for at this point; her friendship, I mean. This feels like a selfish decision, but when another person's feelings are involved, I can see it as equally selfless.
Oh well, *sigh*...time to suck it up.
I recently did a search for 'Tobiwan' on Google and was surprised how difficult it was to find this blog. It feels good knowing that finding my blog requires knowing more about me than just my name. Eventually, I did stumble upon it, but it was several pages into my search. Does anyone even stick around for that long? Not me and I consider myself a pretty patient person.
After much consideration, I don't think I'll share this information with Pebbles. It wouldn't matter if I did give her the link at this point, especially with how I'm feeling about continuing this attempt-at-having-a-relationship. If she did happen to read any of this, I think some of my comments would hurt her feelings. Yes, here I go worrying about others, but I can't help but feel empathetic towards her. Rejection, as many of you know, never sits well in my conscience.
Having to tell her will be painful and I'm not sure she'll even want to be friends with me afterwards. That will be the most I could hope for at this point; her friendship, I mean. This feels like a selfish decision, but when another person's feelings are involved, I can see it as equally selfless.
Oh well, *sigh*...time to suck it up.
posted by Tobiwan | 8:05 AM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry things aren't working out. It shouldn't take so much effort this early into it. I've been there though- wanting it to work and trying to make it through some rough patches. From my experience, when it's difficult so early on it doesn't usually bode well for a future with that person. BUT that doesn't mean a girl more well suited for you won't come along. I'm sorry though. It's hard to be in that place.
I think you made the right decision not telling her about the blog. It's your private space to vent.
You know you can actually set your blog not to show up in search engines? That's what I've done to mine, since one of my friends found my old blog.
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