"Because you can't argue with crazy"

Is word-for-word what my collegue said about the resident nutcase in my office. I had no idea how this person got past my radar, but lo and behold...I now see it for myself. Everything all adds up now, whereas before, it seemed like something was amiss with this woman.

As some of you already know, I am infamously oblivious to certain behavior, but you would think I could recognize my own kind. Contrary to this, I believe that everyone is crazy in their own special way. She's a whole different kind of crazy, so this is probably why I didn't notice until just recently. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it!

What did it for me was when stupid me opened his mouth and offered a public thought to her (in passing at the proverbial watering hole). Stupidity sounded like this:

"Oh hi Crazy Chick..." (no, I didnt' really call her that...) I smiled and then I thought about a conversation we had previously about her hair (when she asked what I thought of the style). Before thinking about the consequences, the brain-to-mouth filter failed to stop the question, "Have you ever had your hair in a Bob Style?"

Crazy Chick stopped dead in her tracks and immediately fired back, "What? Don't you like my hairstyle?" She asked in a more-than-the-situation-called-for-serious tone.

Big mistake, I know! I still wince when I think about this. Guys, you know you're not supposed say anything besides compliments when you comment on a girl's hair. Doesn't matter if they're crazy or not. You must be prepared for the the consequences if you tread on this territory.

I stammered my response, caught completely off-guard by the response, "Uhhh, ...." I had to think fast, "No, I didn't say I didn't like it. I was just thinking a Bob Style would look good on you, that's all." I tried to smile as innocently as possible as to not further fan the flames of crazy.

She still didn't look convinced, but nothing I said seemed to pull me out of the fire...in fact...the more I talked, the more it seemed she was sure that's what I meant by my comment. If she was messing with me, I sure was unable to read it. Believe me, I was looking for any signs that she was serious...a wink, a dimple, anything! I think she was kidding, but it didn't seem like it at the time. Later that day, when I received a call from her, she jabbed me with, 'Even though you hate my hair.' Yeah, she was joking, or was she?

Who fucking knows/cares?

Seriously though, this isn't the first time she's come up with her own conclusion (while also completely dismissing anything to counter it). I have learned to not argue with her simply because it gets me nowhere. No matter what kind of logic I use, it's just shot down and buried before my very eyes. So yeah...I should know by now not to argue with Crazy. It's just impossible and pointless.

Anyone know someone like this? Do you just smile and play along like I do?

I've taken it a step further by telling her that from now on, whatever she says...is right. I agree. That's all I will say...even if I don't really agree. It keeps her happy and that's cool with me as long as our paths don't cross very often.