The weekend in preview

The time I spend away from my kids and work has become very valuable to me since I moved in with roommates. After living alone for almost 2 years, I had become acclimated to spending an enormous amount of time by myself. Now that I carpool, I'm now in the presence of another human being almost constantly from the time I wake up till I goto sleep. As you might've guessed, this is something that was hard to give up.

Things that splode

So this morning I had a bomb dropped in my lap about the status of my ex-wife and my children. Specifically, she reported that she is being evicted out of her house~I had somewhat prepared myself for this despite her boyfriend assuring me that things would work out. Strike against me for having faith in his ability to pull himself out of that deep hole. He's now 'MIA'
and it seems he wont be welcome in her life after all.

I could hear her anxiety in her voice when she broke the news to me..she sounded pretty worn-out, understandably so. Her plan is to go move in with her mother into a 1 bedroom apartment~'fucking cozy' would be an understatement. Still, her mother is relatively close to my residence which means the kids will probably be spending more time with me. What this also means is that I might be having my son live with me afterall. I was prepared for that as well, but I really have no idea how I'm going to be able to keep him occupied during the day while I am at work. The boy is 10 yrs old, and although I think that's too old for a babysitter, I also think he's too young to be left on his own while I'm working. Much to ponder.

Married Once, Divorced Never

The skinny of the situation is that we're still married, but have been separated for more than 3 years now. This coming wednesday would've been the 10th year of our marriage if either of us still observed it. For now, the only thing that still says we're 'married' is fictional piece of paper we signed 10 years ago. I mention this because there is still a part of me that cares for her well being. Not all of it was bad, just the last few years where we lost focus of who we were and decided that we weren't the same people as in the beginning.

With having been separated for more than 3 years now, we have comfortably become friends who still care about eachother. She still gives me dating tips and I occasionally examine the curvature of her buttocks when she's not looking. This is definitely the sex-crazed male in me that's responsible for the appreciation of her ass. Other than that, I doubt there's any romantic feelings I have left for her at this point. When we were first split up, it was a huge blow to my ego and I didn't really date much or even talk to women for awhile after that. I would've sacrificed a genital back then to feel half as secure as I feel now...time sure is effective for healing.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, my divorce with her is becoming imperative to improving my courting status. For some reason, women seem to see my marital status as being a huge turn-off. I've asked my male friends if they would still date a woman who was in my same situation (separated for 3 years, but not legally divorced) and they all responded with zero doubt in their minds that it would bother them. The women in my life seem to believe quite the opposite. This conclusion really has me thinking that I'm truly clueless when it comes to understanding how women think...how discouraging!

For the time being, it's really difficult watching her struggle like this and there's really nothing I can do about it but remain supportive. I know she appreciates it and her mother has definitely let me know that I'm not a Deadbeat dad. Although I don't seek her approval, I'd much rather have it than not.

Okay, I've rambled enough about this, hope you all have a nice weekend.