It still amazes me...
that my mood can be completely turned around by my kids.
Friday afternoon, I picked up the little girl at school and was greeted with a torso crushing hug. I could feel the stress literally draining right out of me during our embrace. It's strange that she can sense that I want to hold her for a long time. We left the school grounds hand in hand with my face beaming like I just won the Lottery.
The boy's bus arrived just as we pulled up, which is perfect because I wanted to show my face to his bus driver in the event that I ever had to pick him up again in the future. He seemed to be happy to see me in spite of our recent spats. I wont get into details, but I will say that we've had a hard time training him on the finer details of making sure his body is well maintained (within acceptable 11 yr old standards). It had gotten to a point where I confronted him in a very cross tone, one he had apparently been stewing on since the last time I spoke with him.
I'll digress for a moment to explain something that's pretty important detail to all of this. Apparently, the medication he's taking has a particular side effect that makes his bowels harder to control. As a result, and I realize I said I wouldn't mention this before, but I'm on a roll, sue me~he has a tendency to accidentally shit himself. From the perspective of an 11 yr old, I would imagine he would be very embarrassed by this and he wont say anything about it until we detect that faint odor of fecal matter.
Unfortunately, I didn't know this until his Professor told me about one of the side effects of his meds. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear this~and I told him about it the minute I stepped in the house. I apologized to him and told him I was wrong to scorn him for doing something he didn't know why was happening. I'm pretty sure this put his mind at ease because he perked up while en route to my home.
His Mother tells me that he was in much better spirits lately and I explained that I apologized for how I treated him. It's nice to finally know why this was happening...as a parent, I felt very demoralized by it and let my emotions get the best of me. Next thing we need to do is talk with the Doc about changing his meds (I'd really like him off them completely).
In other news, I called my Mom on Mother's Day. It was tough holding back my desire to unleash the enormous volume of tears I have stored up when I spoke with her. I managed to talk with her about my kids without tear shed and she assured me that they could help me out with transportation costs. It was really great talking to her again, but I still get choked up whenever she asks how I'm doing. It's tough when you can't even tell your own mother how bad your life seems to have gotten. The truth of the matter is that I feel ashamed for where I am in life. My folks have never given me the impression that they're disappointed with me, in fact, they've always offered me encouragement.
Whenever I learn to ask for help, I hope this lump in my throat goes away. Maybe by then I would have the confidence that I could maintain a relationship.
that my mood can be completely turned around by my kids.
Friday afternoon, I picked up the little girl at school and was greeted with a torso crushing hug. I could feel the stress literally draining right out of me during our embrace. It's strange that she can sense that I want to hold her for a long time. We left the school grounds hand in hand with my face beaming like I just won the Lottery.
The boy's bus arrived just as we pulled up, which is perfect because I wanted to show my face to his bus driver in the event that I ever had to pick him up again in the future. He seemed to be happy to see me in spite of our recent spats. I wont get into details, but I will say that we've had a hard time training him on the finer details of making sure his body is well maintained (within acceptable 11 yr old standards). It had gotten to a point where I confronted him in a very cross tone, one he had apparently been stewing on since the last time I spoke with him.
I'll digress for a moment to explain something that's pretty important detail to all of this. Apparently, the medication he's taking has a particular side effect that makes his bowels harder to control. As a result, and I realize I said I wouldn't mention this before, but I'm on a roll, sue me~he has a tendency to accidentally shit himself. From the perspective of an 11 yr old, I would imagine he would be very embarrassed by this and he wont say anything about it until we detect that faint odor of fecal matter.
Unfortunately, I didn't know this until his Professor told me about one of the side effects of his meds. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear this~and I told him about it the minute I stepped in the house. I apologized to him and told him I was wrong to scorn him for doing something he didn't know why was happening. I'm pretty sure this put his mind at ease because he perked up while en route to my home.
His Mother tells me that he was in much better spirits lately and I explained that I apologized for how I treated him. It's nice to finally know why this was happening...as a parent, I felt very demoralized by it and let my emotions get the best of me. Next thing we need to do is talk with the Doc about changing his meds (I'd really like him off them completely).
In other news, I called my Mom on Mother's Day. It was tough holding back my desire to unleash the enormous volume of tears I have stored up when I spoke with her. I managed to talk with her about my kids without tear shed and she assured me that they could help me out with transportation costs. It was really great talking to her again, but I still get choked up whenever she asks how I'm doing. It's tough when you can't even tell your own mother how bad your life seems to have gotten. The truth of the matter is that I feel ashamed for where I am in life. My folks have never given me the impression that they're disappointed with me, in fact, they've always offered me encouragement.
Whenever I learn to ask for help, I hope this lump in my throat goes away. Maybe by then I would have the confidence that I could maintain a relationship.
posted by Tobiwan | 1:04 PM
3 Comments:
Kids are really awesome, aren't they?
I think you are an awesome parent. I know your parents are just as proud of you as you are of your own kids.
Wow, I feel so bad for your son! I can't imagine the heat he must have gotten at school for that. I'm glad you were able to discover what was going on. Man, kids are so painfully innocent sometimes.
Like I've always said, your love for your kids has always amazed me. I've never heard a parent gush over and appreciate their kids as much as you do.
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