Nice Weather but...
Not exactly the nicest time of year for yours truly, but I'm here pouring it out for all to see (or ignore).
What's been going on with me lately? I wish I could say that things have been exciting for me and that I'm having a grand ol' time fornicating with a substantial number of adorable Women. It's not true of course, but a guy can dream, cant he?
The books have been keeping my brain occupied much like the Smut I was reading last week. My recent introverted demeanor has used reading as a way for me to hide in my proverbial cave until I feel like continuing with the hunt. Friends have been a little concerned about me when I go into hiding like this, but I'm doing my best to assure them that things are 'okay' or mediocre at best.
This happens to be a time where I would prefer to be alone rather than interact with coworkers, friends, or even roommates. It's really nothing personal...after all, I'm pretty much avoiding any contact with my family as well. My Sisters and Mother have been trying to contact me to make arrangements to visit San Diego sometime mid June, but I don't even know if I can afford to visit with my current financial state.
My kids are due to spend a few weeks with my folks in SD, but I'll have to bite the bullet and ask them to help me pay for the train tickets. I realize it's silly to have as much pride in my self sufficiency, but it literally hurts me to ask them for help. They've already helped me so much and I feel like I've done nothing but extend my hand for more assistance. It's a stupid, ugly downward spiral and I suspect that I'll eventually give in and make another choked up phone call to my parents.
Fucking humility...oh how I hate that word.
Not exactly the nicest time of year for yours truly, but I'm here pouring it out for all to see (or ignore).
What's been going on with me lately? I wish I could say that things have been exciting for me and that I'm having a grand ol' time fornicating with a substantial number of adorable Women. It's not true of course, but a guy can dream, cant he?
The books have been keeping my brain occupied much like the Smut I was reading last week. My recent introverted demeanor has used reading as a way for me to hide in my proverbial cave until I feel like continuing with the hunt. Friends have been a little concerned about me when I go into hiding like this, but I'm doing my best to assure them that things are 'okay' or mediocre at best.
This happens to be a time where I would prefer to be alone rather than interact with coworkers, friends, or even roommates. It's really nothing personal...after all, I'm pretty much avoiding any contact with my family as well. My Sisters and Mother have been trying to contact me to make arrangements to visit San Diego sometime mid June, but I don't even know if I can afford to visit with my current financial state.
My kids are due to spend a few weeks with my folks in SD, but I'll have to bite the bullet and ask them to help me pay for the train tickets. I realize it's silly to have as much pride in my self sufficiency, but it literally hurts me to ask them for help. They've already helped me so much and I feel like I've done nothing but extend my hand for more assistance. It's a stupid, ugly downward spiral and I suspect that I'll eventually give in and make another choked up phone call to my parents.
Fucking humility...oh how I hate that word.
posted by Tobiwan | 11:50 AM
3 Comments:
I hate asking for help. I've had to do it a lot this year, but I'll be on my own feet soon. :)
That's what families are for Tobi. Mine have pulled me out of trouble quite a few times.
There is no shame in needing help. That's what families are for....if they were ever in need and you were in a position to help them, you would in a heartbeat.
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