Dear Fuckface,

It is not okay for you to call me on my extension and demand service when I have specifically told you to call another number. Secondly, it's not my fault god hates you and gave you a significantly smaller ape-brain than the rest of the populace.

It is also not okay to leave me voicemail threatening to address my poor customer service skills to my Superior when I fail to answer your 3rd call to me (in the last hour).

When I give people my number here at work, it's implied that you use it only as a last resort. It doesn't mean you get to go to the front of the line to get your trivial matter resolved.

I'm really sorry your consultant gave you the fingerwave just recently, but this still doesn't excuse this now 4th voicemail you've left me today. Do you suppose his motivation to leave you in your hour of ignorance may be related to the email you CC'd me on last week? What was it again...you called him 'incompetent' and 'unprofessional'?

I'm definitely not one to judge here...

Nevermind. I'm sure you'll figure it out some day.

Signed,

The 'Tech-guy'

PS. My name isn't 'Cubby'~*twitch* fucker.