The Boy and I

Are getting re-acquainted while he stays with me for the next month or so. It's only been 5 days since his Mother dropped him off and he's already asking to go home. I suppose he's not liking the limited entertainment at my shack. I don't blame him though...there's really not a whole lot for a 13yr old boy to do unless he wants to gorge himself on World of Warcraft. I would've thought he could hang in there for another few days at least, but I over-estimated his need to be with his Mom.

And then he said he missed his cats. Reasonable plea, I suppose, but I'm hoping he can hold out.

He's been great about keeping himself clean since hygene has been an issue in the past. Every night I get home, he tells me he brushed his teeth, took a shower and shampoo'd his hair. He seems to be getting used to it and I haven't had to tell him 'you stink' in quite a while. Good progress, but I'm mostly concerned with what's going to happen when he goes back to living with his mother. It's not that she doesn't take care of it, it's just that she doesn't maintain her authority over him. He doesn't respect her or his grandmother and that's just not right. He does what I tell him without questioning it (too much), but his mother and grandmother just give up a little too easy for my taste.

I have held my tongue about it for a long time, but I'm starting to believe that they're seeing that they need to be the authority, not just act like they want it. I don't really know how to describe it, but I know that I'm the parent as does the boy. He may not like it, but he knows it just as I did when I was a kid.

Living with him again has been a good experience; one which I had forgotten how much I was missing. I know that where I live will not be acceptable enough for me soon and that I need to get my own place. When that happens, I want the boy to live with me so I can help him be successful in life. It's not that I don't trust his mother, I would just prefer to have a more direct influence over him.

The prospect of having my own place has me day-dreaming right now. I look forward to the tedious things like preparing my own meals, doing dishes, laundry, cleaning up before I have guests come over to visit.

/sigh Some day soon....

Kids are worth it
I'm stealing this from my pal Sizzle who has the 2nd coolest nephew in the world (I have 4 that take the first position by default, sorry Sizz!). It's the truth and I know this because I see it every time I spend time with my children. Even though they're basically both Teenagers, they are still my two favorite kids, ever.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of being involved with my daughter's School event. They called it the 'Summer Solstice', but it was more like an excuse to raise funds for future events. It consisted of several booths containing games where people payed (with tickets) to play. They could win prize tickets which could then be turned in to get cheapie prizes. My initial thought; Not so impressed.

My Ex was with us and had been asked to run one of these game booths, so I decided to hang out since my daughter was busy mingling with her friends. It turned out that the booth the Ex was managing was pretty popular (the bean bag toss) and eventually, I got roped into participating in the running of the game booth. Contrary to my initial thoughts about it, I really enjoyed myself running that booth. It helps that I get along quite well with my Ex and pretty soon, our tent was swarming with eager young players.

It seriously warmed my heart to provide encouragement to each kid to step up for a try. To see their faces when they succeeded (even remotely) was a reward in itself. Sure there were a few shitheads to show up, but the majority of the kids were polite and quite well behaved. I had several lovely mommies to flirt with and, as always the case when I'm around lots of kids, a few new friends to help keep me company. My Ex tells me I'm a kid magnet, and I think she's right to some degree.

The proverbial icing on the cake was added by the arrival and frequent loitering of my daughter and her friend. It was so nice to have her hang out with me in spite of other fun things to do at the Carnival. The fact that she kept coming back was a good reminder that my little girl is still mine. My requirement for her, if she wanted more tickets, was that she pay me in hugs. I feel this was a good trade considering I held her for a while and whispered to her how much I loved her each time. You'd think it would get old for her, but she never once pushed me away or let go until I had my fill of her embrace. I will always know she loves me, but the hugs are a great reinforcement to that feeling.

Even as I write this weeks after the event, I have very fond memories of the good times we had that day. I never thought having kids would make me such a softy, but it's the truth. They both make me very happy and I can barely remember what it was like to not have them.

Unconditional love rules. That's all.

"Out of sight...out of mind"

The latter half of that cliche' is one that is truly appropriate to my situation. Yes, indeed, that's the honest truth about my driving situation. It's really too overwelming to look at without the wincing...a lot. Yes...I'm out of my fucking mind to openly ignore my transportation problem. It's now a 'problem' because for every month I have it sitting somewhere, I have to continue paying someone to keep it there.

I'm considering just selling it and moving on with my life, but here's the other problem I've been ignoring for much longer: My financial situation... which would take several years for me to patch up making it that much harder for me to afford an acceptable vehicle.

It's safe to say that I excel in my skills of denial. I wish I was this good with my other skills.

And a special thanks to the coworker that directly asked me about my transportation situation. I thanked her and asked her to kick me in the nuts again. Dammit, why can't she just let me sit in my own filth? I can't be mad at her for asking, I don't think she knew it was an equally sore subject as my pending divorce (by pending, I mean that I'll eventually get one, but no, I haven't filled out any paperwork much less even thought about it).

Maybe I should think about getting these things fixed. Yeah.

I'm still standing

Thank you Elton John for contributing to today's blog title. It really doesn't have anything to do with standing or remaining prone or erect or anything...not that I have any problems with remaining erect (unless alcohol is involved).

Today, I'm going to talk about waking up every day and getting out of bed to perform the tasks we must do to enjoy whatever lifestyles we maintain. It really takes a lot of discipline to keep doing this and not go nutty.

We have the weekends to thank for our breaks in our jobs, unless you're one of the fortunate people to not have to be bound by a schedule. Either way, if we were to be stuck doing our jobs or tasks every day, every hour, I bet more people would turn to drugs or other vices to escape.

This subject came up today while I was reflecting how long I've worked at this current job. I called myself a 'noob' (meaning still new at the job), and I was corrected by my partner in crime; 'Kitty'. She's quite effective at giving me a good slap of reality when I need it. Anyway, she corrected me by saying that I was not a 'noob' by now. It has, after all, been 7 months since I started this job. Although this doesn't exactly mean that I'm an expert, it does imply that I can't use the excuse that 'I'm new here' any longer.

And then I thought about how long it's been since I've taken a sick day. Have I ever taken a sick day here? Not thus far! I think this is quite an accomplishment considering how easy it was to justify calling in and giving myself a free day off (at my previous employer). I guess this is an improvement in my attitude as well as a reflection of how much different this job is than the last. I may be late every now and then, but I show up, I do my work, and sometimes I even go home late.

The wheels

Riding the bike has been quite theraputic for me thus far. Although I still need to get myself a light and probably a new bike, I have settled into the habit of the 6 mile ride to the BART. It sure as hell beats the 45 minute ride on a Bus and then another 45 minute trip home I would normally do on Public Transportation. There's a certain freedom in riding my bike instead of being trapped on a Bus. I like the freedom and believe that I will continue to travel this way even when I get my Automobile at a functional state.

My thighs and calves are looking quite robust, so the physical improvements are more than enough to encourage me to continue doing this. My legs haven't looked this good in years and I'm managing to make my jeans a tad more loose than normal. These are all positive steps to improving myself and it might even mean I'll get laid again. Yay for me.

Hearing from an old friend

Facebook has been quite reliable in keeping me in touch with people that I am fond of with maybe a few exceptions. It's also reminded me how many really awesome people that have touched my life thus far.

Another female friend from my past has recently made an appearance in Facebook and it's been really a treat talking to her again. I was pleasantly surprised to see how she has blossomed into womanhood like I knew she would. Have I really known this many wonderful girls in my lifetime? Given all the beautiful women I know now (inside and out), I can't help thinking that this the reward I get for being the nice guy..and no, I'm being serious here!

Sorry to cut this off so abruptly, but I ran out of things to talk about and I have to get ready for my ride home. Ciao!