Rich in friendship

Just when I think that my pockets are empty and I have nothing good in my life, I am, yet again, proven completely wrong.

This Saturday, I was invited over to my friends' house for the usual partaking of charring meat, the consumption of alcohol, and maybe take in the fragrance of radiated plant life. All good things and of course, who could forget the good company of people who have adopted me into their lives as surrogate family.

It's true what they say about family; you really can't choose them, you just somehow get inducted into it. Fortunately for me, my friends have adopted me and I to them. They will never leave me and I will never even consider trading them in (not even for a new porche).

So, Saturday, I am enjoying beer and the sated feeling of good food in my belly when it suddenly gets quiet around me. My friends gradually had gathered around me while I chatted away and began the murmer of the birthday song. And suddenly, the birthday song was audible and I realized that it was me who they were singing to. I can hardly explain the amount of love I felt at the time because it was just so overwelming. They put a pastry in front of me along with a few candles, then handed me a hand-made card from his daughter who had gotten everyone to sign their names on said card. Lucky for me, I held back the tears until later.

I'm feeling great today because I know I am loved and appreciated even though I don't always feel this way. It seems stupid to me how I can keep going back and forth about not being capable of loving another person.

Random things to share

My son really wanted to tell me about an item in Warcraft one evening and I really wasn't interested to hear about it, even telling him, 'C, I really don't want to know!'. He accepted this and went to bed shortly thereafter. Now before you say "Oh Tobi, how could you fucking say such a thing to your child?", I think you should spend some time with any 13yr old boy totally obsessed with a computer game and then tell me you're still interested in everything he has to say. Nuff said.

Anywho, back to my story...

I wake up the next morning and as I'm walking by the boy to head to the shower, he wakes up from his dead sleep and blurts out the statistics of the item he was so desperate to tell me about the previous evening. I stood there in shock staring at him wondering, 'Is my kid a little obsessed?' Maybe a little bit, but he's like that. His neurosis is not unlike mine where we'll obsess over obscure details or events that we percieve to have made an impact on us. This is something I accept about myself, but I feel for him in that he still has a long way to go to learning how to 'let things go'.

Fuck July...

July is over and I'm so relieved that I survived the hell that was my job. As I mentioned, I was the only one in my department which can often be overwelming. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I only wanted to quit roughly twice a day and the idea of becoming a landscaper only clouded my judgement on a few occasions. My sleep sucked and I'm still super glad to have my coworker back (from Vacation).

Crazy has another name...

I have decided to name my delusional coworker 'Loca' because calling her 'Crazy' would be like calling the Pacific Ocean a puddle. You'd think nothing surprises me anymore, but nope, I'm constantly being reminded that the only thing you can expect from people of this crazy level is the unexpected!

Crazy chicks are rumored to be outstanding lovers and I can't help wondering what the sex must be like with Loca. In reality, however, that's as close as I'll get to putting my penis in her. I'm crazy, but I'm not crazy enough to find out.

I'm a pirate

This weekend, I downloaded a ton of music and also some episodes of BattleStar Galactica. It's nice to have a refreshed musical library so I don't have to listen to the same playlist. I'm sure my partner in crime 'Kitty' will appreciate that.