Middle of the Week

I've often wondered why they call Wednesday 'Hump Day'. Sure it's called that because it's traditionally the 'middle of the week' whereas the uphill battle for the weekend suddenly takes a downward change in velocity. Why 'Hump' though?

Let's review the verbage, shall we?

- Humping [Verb] is what people do when they get horny and can't get their clothes off fast enough. 'Dear santa, I want more humping this year please and thank you.'

- Hump [Noun] is what camels have (other than toes). Also known as a bulge protruding from some planar surface. 'The Hump of a Camel is far more apparent than it's toe'

- Humpty Dumpty [Nursery rhyme] sat on a wall....

- Hump Day [Noun] - Otherwise known as the middle of the Week (Wednesday). 'Their Potluck was scheduled to take place on the 3rd Humpday of every month much to the chagrin of the Male employees'.

Surely they could've come up with a better definition for the middle of the week without sounding dirty about it. Although I would gladly partake in some humping with various women I know, I feel like doing this all the time rather than just the middle of the week.

Remember Much?

Lately, I have been very disappointed with how my body is reacting to the smoke. To fill you in on my background a little, I have been almost a daily user of Pot for well over 5 years now. I've attempted many times to justify why I feel the need to smoke it a few times a day, but I'll humor you all one last time.

Until recently, I enjoyed the luxury of being able to forget about my problems in a way that I could initialize. Rather than face my problems, I could just burn some bud and focus on the things I felt were important to me. While I'm slowly seeing the downfall of this frame of thinking, my denial is holding quite firm to the theory that 'pot helps me unwind after a hard day at work'. Although my job can be mentally draining, there are issues that are far more important than my job.

Why the jolt of honesty? Reality seems to be chomping at my heels lately. Many things I've been ignoring for years are beginning to come to the front of my thinking. Primarily, I'm tired of running from things I should be resolving or should've resolved months, days, and years ago. My logic is that nobody in their right mind would want to be with me when I can't deal with things 'normal' people do without even thinking about it. Then again, I'm far from 'normal', aren't I? And most importantly, what will it take for me to face my to-do list without chickening out?

The things on my 'to-do' list are quite daunting to say the least. It sits accumulating more things I need to do and I'm not even adding amusing things to it (to make it more pallable).

Imma Quitter

Besides Pot, my health/wealth wont ever improve without some form of personal intervention. To surrogate my weed habit, I have taken up drinking to continue trying to forget my problems. This is obviously not the right path to choose if I want to grow old with my kids. If I can't do this for them, I need to at least do it for myself.

Even though I don't wish to quit smoking pot, I need to break myself from wanting to do it every day. It's not like masturbating...my brain doesn't lose focus from doing it...in fact, I always gain clarity after I rub one off. I don't know if I could break myself from that habit...not even if my life depended on it (would life even be worth living if I couldn't wank?).

Anyway, work is still managing to rape and pillage my ability to do anything fun short of peeking in on my fave blogs I enjoy reading. If that's not bad enough, when I get home, I have no desire to interact with my computer...what kind of nerd am I? Oh yeah, the not getting laid kind! I wonder what that waitress is doing tonight...hmmmm.

A long weekend before the big weekend

Although I didn't officially have my kids last weekend, I still felt like spending some time with them anyway. Fortunately for me, I have a good friend (JT) with a young daughter and she gets along well with my daughter. Also in my favor, he lives pretty close to where my children live. We made impromptu plans (on friday) to hang out on Saturday (with kids in tow), drink some beer, and charr some meat. Mmm...beer and charred meat!

I picked up some tasty pre-marinated meat from the Butcher and headed over to JT's house for some weekend mischief. I don't think my kids really get out much while they're at their mother's house, so I felt it was necessary to save them from another boring day of hanging out at home. They were really stoked to see me, especially since it was out of the ordinary. The boy didn't have anyone to play with, but he was happy to use the spare computer in the house to occupy himself.

Offspring Symbiosis

I"ll digress for a moment to point out that I think I'm going to make it a habit to spend more time with them on the weekends since all I do normally on my time away from them is game and watch the tube. They make me feel like I'm needed and I think I need that more than anything right now. It's a funny symbiosis, children and their parents. We need them equally as much as they need us in their lives...at least it happens for me like that.

Work Busy-ness

Since my Supervisor's position has now been dissolved, my team has been integrated with another group in my organization. Although the changes to my job tasks have been a little overwelming, I've found the extra work good for at least making the days go by faster. The drawback to this change in the org is that I'm responsible for more but getting paid the same. How convenient for them (the ones benefitting from the extra work without pay), isn't it?

I'm not bitter over it yet, in fact, it makes me feel that I'm more valuable as an employee. Others, however are starting to polish their resumes to move onto greener pastures. I have yet to blow the dust off my resume, but I think the time has come for me to update it and see what's out there.

As a result of all the extra work, I dont have the same opportunites to blog as I did previously. Hopefully this will slow down after the holidays are over. 'Then why are you blogging at work Tob?', you ask?

Uh, well, when the cat is away, the mice will play.

Legs resembling Gumby

Today, after my workout from last night, I am feeling the rewarding pain of sore muscles. I wish I could say that this was the other 'good kind of sore', but alas, I'm headed that way eventually. When I viewed the entire room of people exercising in the gym, I thought about why they might be there.

'Are these people all here because they want to get laid too?'

I guess I just assumed that people only goto the gym to ultimately get more sex. It's not the immediate motivation for it, but I think procreation, short of our desire to survive, is something that weighs very heavily in our minds.

The gym itself was pretty intimidating I'll admit and fucking crowded as hell. I'm sure there's a better time to go than right after work. I'll have to try another time of day considering how many people were in this place. It doesnt help that the gym is located in the local Mall. I'm sure it's a great idea to get people while they're on 'break' from the gym. Perhaps I'll never understand marketing and how effective it can be.

Anyway, it's good to break the sweat again. I'm feeling very anxious about getting myself back into shape. *looks for the remote to fast forward to the killer body part* Or maybe it's just me realizing that it's been almost a year since I had me some good sex. Don't get me wrong, the last sexual encounter was very good, but I'm a guy~it's easy to please us if you know how to use your mouth properly.

Sex. *sigh*

Spotted the Ring

Today, as I walked by Sexy woman's desk, I caught sight of her ring finger. It was occupied by something pretty gaudy, but a sure sign that she's taken. I have yet to determine if this is a happy marriage, but it definitely changes some things, namely with how I have to approach her. After I gave it some thought, it seemed to make things simpler as well as granting some closure to my curiousity.

Holiday humbug

My sisters have been hounding me lately to give them my 'plans' for the month to come. Apparently, they're trying to plan holidays around the couples that have to share their children (I feel so included!) so everyone can meet up and have a lovely time. I didn't have the heart to tell either sis that I am indifferent to whom we spent the holidays with. It's not that I don't care about my relatives...it's just that I don't like feeling obligated to do things that others want me to do. It's purely selfish, I admit this.

This brings me to the prospect that I only celebrate holidays for the sake of others. How depressing is that? I've lost my holiday spirit somewhere along the way. Maybe it's because I've always been dead broke during this time of year? I think that's the best explanation I have so far. In holidays past, my former woman would make these outrageous purchases and further plunge us further into debt. After a while, I just gave up, and perhaps that's where I went wrong...I stopped caring.

Anyway, I always manage to 'suck it up' and make my appearance, smile and all. I even manage to have a nice time despite the holiday humbug. Maybe some spiked eggnog would help?

Friday much?

I'm writing this after the friday, after the weekend with my kids, but who's counting right?

This weekend, we spent bonding indoors since it rained almost the whole time. Adorable Daughter and I went out to see 'Flushed Away' Saturday afternoon~liked it, was impressed with how well my little girl can mimic accents, flirted with cute ticket girl, then embarrassed the hell out of her by telling her she had something on the corner of her mouth.

Note to self: Must try more blonde meat.

I tried motivating the boy to join us for some time 'out of the house', but he wouldn't have it...not when there was an unoccupied computer desk available. Frankly, I don't mind that he hangs out and stays out of trouble on the PC while I'm out spending quality time with the little girl. He'll get out of the house if I nudge him a little bit, so I'm not all that worried about him becoming too horribly addicted to the game.

Slave to Physiology

I'm sure i've said this in the past, but I am having difficulty with ignoring my passive awareness of the opposite sex. Women currently occupy about 60% of my mind during the day, and at night, when I let it wander, it probably goes up to 75%. Wherever I go in public, I can't stop checking every woman out, I completely stopped feeling like a perv only recently. If they're attractive, I have to cover my mouth so it doesn't hang open. It also seems like every woman I interact with in public, whether it be a bartender, waitress, clerk, secretary, librarian, I end up expanding on possible scenarios with them later. Surely I have better things to do than fantasize about strangers I meet. I'm beginning to believe I have a problem with being obsessed with the opposite sex.

LH and I talked a bit about how our lives are missing the intimacy of being with another person. Sure I have my kids (well, at least the little girl cuddles still) to hold onto when I feel like I need an extra 2 minutes on my hug, but I need something more 'adult'. I told her that I could use a nice long 'slow roast'...the kind like when you're with someone new. I forget where I heard this term 'slow roast', but my best definition of it is where you hug someone and you hold them allowing you to melt into their body. The mere presence of a slow roast can be a powerfully intoxicating experience in the arms of two people who are attracted to eachother.

Anyway, I've ran out of steam on the subject for now. Hope you all had a nice weekend!

PS. I started this on friday, finished tuesday because I had a busy computer free-weekend.

It's confirmed: I think too much

Today, I was happy to see the familiar vehicle of the Sexy woman with Black Hair. I guess I was being paranoid when I didn't see the vehicle in the parking lot, yet I saw her both yesterday and tuesday. *laughs* But i'm no stalker~really!

This reminds me that, given time, I will have an elaborate story thought up in my head if I don't know the real truth. My analytical nature and daydreaming skills tend to be serious obstacles for me when it comes to courting women. How can I just make myself stop thinking so much? Why can't I just be ignorant and have no doubt? Anyone know how this can be disabled?

I can't even think straight right now because I'm trying to figure out some excuse to go over and talk to her. I guess it's good I have all this work to keep me occupied.

More complaints

My neck is sore. I need someone to come here and give me a good rough massage. Preferably female and I plan on bartering a good massage in return for a job well done. I am also very good at giving cranial massages. You could say I give good head among other things. Anyway, I think an ideal mate of mine would be able to rub my shoulders when I need it. She should also be receptive to allowing me to please her with my hands in any way she sees fit. It confused the hell out of me that my ex didn't like to have her back massaged. I really like doing it you see...it allows my hands to feel soft skin as well as hear the moans of appreciation.

My job is changing soon and I don't know what to anticipate. The supervisor of my department is taking another job elsewhere, which means I'll need to break in another Manager. For the most part, I am a relatively easy person to work with, but I'm stubborn when it comes to significant changes to my environment. In this case, I think I'll be performing the same the same tasks with added responsabilities. Isn't that nice? Not really. I wont even get a pay raise for it. Maybe some day I'll get fed up with the environment here and find work elsewhere, but until I can pass a urine test, methinks i'll have to just suck it up and remember that I could be working in a much worse environment.

Somebody told me

Today's Election Day and I wont be the only one avoiding the voting booths like they've got the Plague. I have already received a few snide remarks about how ignorant I am for not voting, but little do they know I've already called myself out to being totally uninformed. Why else would I name my blog "Blogus Ignoramus"?

Seriously, the only thing that exceeds my ignorance is my indifference. I'm sure there are a lot of Americans in my situation. The government has not taken any interest in helping anyone but themselves and wait, I'm talking about politics~WTF am I doing? Oh yeah, treading water in the open ocean...nuff said.

While everyone is taking the time out to vote for the person they think would do the least amount of damage, I'll be sipping beer and charring meat in celebration of being a social deviant. I encourage all of you to give the middle finger to anyone who tells you to go out and Vote, even if you don't know shit about either candidate. If you happen to be one of those people who feels voting can make a difference; I say 'congrats to you', you're making a difference! Who wants Steak and Beer? *raises hand*

Completely off the subject

2nd day in a row and I don't see Sexy Woman with the Black hair. Strange coincidence that she's not here after two days, but I'm trying to continue thinking that it's just that (a coincidence). Maybe she's busy helping out her local congressman? *shrugs* Strange timing, but I can't see how leaving a complimentary note on someone's car could make them want to stay home.

Workplace Mischief

Today's been like any other friday with the exception of a move that I'm still wondering if it was a good idea after all. Oh well, the deed has already been done, and all I can do is wait till she reads it~whenever that may be. Maybe I should fill in a bit of the background, shouldn't I?

For weeks now, I've had my eye on a Raven-haired woman in my office. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know my name, but I've had enough contact with her where she would recognize me in public. I flirt with her every chance I get and I make sure she catches me looking at her when I pass by her desk. Trusted coworkers don't seem to think she's attractive, but I think she's foxy as hell. I have no idea if she's attached, but I intend to find out, even if it means completely exposing my motive to her.

Digressing a moment...how does one find out if someone is attached without asking them? I'm sure I could look to see if she had any rings, but damn, her cleavage and that hair of hers just gets in the way. It doesn't help that she has freckles either. Gawd help me!

Since we're at 'work', I've been in midst of internal conflict to break one of my own rules: Don't fish in the company pond. The last fish I had didn't turn out so good, in fact, it took me months to recover from it.

Anyway, after much consideration, I decided to let her know anonymously what I think of her in the form of a hand-written note. Being that I'm a bastard pervert~uh, perfectionist, it took me a while to find the words to say to her, but I eventually settled for 'short and sweet':

--------------------
To the Sexy Woman with black hair,
I find it increasingly difficult to see you here at work every day and not say how absolutely beautiful I think you are.
-Anonymous
--------------------

I left the note on her driver's side window, so there's little doubt she will miss it. Lately, it's been raining, so it might get a little wet and maybe if she likes the message, she might as well. Either way, it's there for her to see and hopefully enjoy. I'm pretty sure she will know it's me, but there's a fair bit of intrigue in getting a note from an anonymous admirer.

I'm curious what any of you think about leaving notes for someone you admire? Think it's creepy? Got any tips on how I can 'up the ante'? Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Hope you all have a nice weekend. I'll be updating my blog quite a bit in the next few days. I have 4 days worth of drafts to finish up, so stay tuned!

Hallow's Eve

Last night, the kids and I suited up and wandered the neighborhood in search of the sweets. Considering how small then neighborhood is, I was shocked to see what one trip around the block generated. I think they both walked away from the night with enough candy to satisfy them until next year, all in about an hour and half of trick-or-treating.

Overall, I had a blast walking around with them in my own neighborhood. The only downer is that I still had to take them home (40 minute drive, one way) and drive back myself. It's worth it though...I can't miss out on stuff like this. I miss them so much and this only continues to reinforce this feeling of mine. Last night, before I left, I was so tempted to tell my exwife that I didn't want to live away from them anymore. I wouldn't even care if I had to live with her, as long as I would have them with me, it wouldn't matter. I doubt she'd be receptive to that idea and while I'm at it, I know there's no way I would get laid while I lived with her.

"Oh, meet my ex-wife, Heather. What? You don't want to fuck me anymore? Awww..poop."

She doesn't live with me and I still get this kind of reaction...but I'm not bitter.

Anyway, looks like another successful Halloween has come to pass and I still love being the designated parent to take them out. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Horny much?

Lately, my libido has been out of control and every woman that meets my standards ends up being subject to my over-active imagination. This one woman even went down on me in the Supply closet~sorry I got some in your hair sweetie, you can just tell them it's hair gel. And that one woman from Accounting? I had her bent over the fax machine the other morning. With a fistful of her hair, I whispered how much I appreciated that she smiled at me every time I passed by her desk. You don't even want to know the naughty scenario I have with the Company's Legal representation...she's got legs that I'd like to use as a belt.

So yeah, my sex drive is veering off the road, switching lanes without signaling, and ignoring signs to yield or even stop. Masturbating doesn't help either, not even to relieve some stress. It also doesn't help that I have roommates that stay up later than I do and whenever I hear them talking, I lose my concentration. Even working and WoW doesn't seem to curb my desire for lady meat.

All I can say is that I want sex. I'm not desperate, but I will be more actively persuing the ladies in order to find a woman/girl who wants the same thing. I know women like this are out there, I just have a hard time finding them in the immediate region.

So yeah, not much else going on but sex or lack thereof.