Alive and uh...well?

I'm alive for now. Nothing new to share, I'm boring like that. Work's pretty much been hell since I am now obligated to take inbound calls exclusively. One drawback is that I am still being called upon to perform my old duties. This presents a significant amount of frustration for me when I have to turn away people who are just looking for help.

Anyway...work sucks, the end.

Things that suck (in no particular order)

- Cars, namely when they require maintenance.
- Cars when they're broken down.
- Vacuums
- Having to look up the word 'Vacuum' because no matter how you spell it, it always looks wrong.
- Being required to take inbound phone calls in the Support Industry all...day...long.
- Being stuck at work while you mull over how you're going to get to work while your car is broken.
- Taking more time off for work to get said car serviced.
- My last sexual fling (emphasis on the sucking part).
- Cold Showers (when you neglect to pay your gas utility).
- Messy, stupid breakups where it's not clear why they left you.
- Speaking with Moronic Network Administrators who get paid double your salary and still don't know how to use anything but a 'Mac'.
- Being patronized by Moronic Network Administrators who only does it to hide his idiocy from his Boss.
- Public Transportation in the Bay Area, California.
- Soft Porn
- Outsourced Technical Support (residing in another country).
- Elmo (he just does)
- Dipshits that can't drive and talk on the phone at the same time.

I'm sure I'll think of more things to add later. Can't wait for this fucking day to end.

Bonus!

Somewhat good news for myself and others in my workplace. Apparently, they're really going to keep their promise of a Bonus and best of all, it's coming tomorrow!

What this means is that I can take my little girl shopping for her 9th Birthday. Should be a blast and I get her all to myself all weekend long.

That is all.

'We need to get Toby a female'

Upon hearing this from my buddy, I could feel my face getting hot and I'm very sure it wasn't the fucked up air system here at work. For some reason, the statement touched a nerve I have been hiding away in the back of my mind for quite some time. How do you tell your friend you've been intentionally avoiding the opposite sex for reasons you can't verbally justify?

An audible 'Hm' was all that I was able to muster in response. Self-censorship for-the-win!

I have all the explanation, but they sound like excuses, so maybe they are? *shrugs* No fucking clue, but I do happen to feel, for lack of a better term, broken. My face is heating up again now as I write this~I can't even think about it with some feelings of remorse and being overwelmed with emotion.

Basketcase, table for one!

While I realize that he's being a good friend by showing his concern, I can't help but feel like burying this deeper into my consciousness. I'm skilled at being in denial like that. If I could destroy this feeling, I would do it to avoid the occasional haunting.

There's an overwelming sense of futility when I start thinking about how I can pull myself out of this funk.

Alright, I'm done with this subject for now.

Crossing the Line Part 2

Lately, I've been attempting to help a Woman restore the wireless connection she has at her home. Unfortunately, her problem is related to a misconfigured laptop provided by her company, so we have been working together every few days just to make sure our responsibility is cleared. Every time I speak with her, there's this air of charged chemistry in her voice and her accent renders me absolutely helpless to fight the urge to flirt. I know I should be more professional about this and considering she's in another state, I should find some way to stamp out this proverbial fire.

My stomach fluttered when she clearly indicated to me that I could call her anytime, even if it wasn't work related. I confess that I still have her added to my cellphone, but I find myself hesitant to call her. Why is it when a woman gives me attention, I lose my fucking mind?

Rhetorical question.

In my mind, my feet are stomping in frustration with this situation. I have a feeling that even if I moved to another part of the country, I'd still be in the same boat. Fuck me.

Dear Stupid CuntWoman driving the black BMW,

It's not normal for me to stare in amazement, but I'm wondering what must be so important for you to be 'parked' at a stop sign for such a long period of time. Something I find even more unusual is the fact that whomever you're talking to on the phone must be equally important considering you have not removed the cell from your ear the whole time. Is there something in your Trunk you need? Or do you like having it stay open while you continue your conversation.

How kind of you to wave other drivers on while also blocking the majority of the lane. I sure hope everything is okay. I'm sure if you needed help, the equally useless passenger in your car would've offered his Neanderthal-esque physique to your cause. Although, at a second glance, he seems to share your vacant look....nevermind.

Seriously woman, I watched you for long enough to go get fucking popcorn from the local Supermarket, and microwave it, and come back with enough time to watch your pointless~whatever-the-fuck it was you were doing.

PS. You're cute...call me sometime when you lose the Gorilla.